It's a Wonderful Life!!

And Behind this Curtain, the Winner Is....

I have made a monumental decision (for me!).

After praying alot, thinking some, and research - I decided to do what has worked for me in the past concerning my weight loss efforts.

I must take into account that all previous efforts have miserably failed and I am to the point of feeling hopeless. So, it must be the right time and the right decision. I was rummaging thru some of my files and found lots of my notes and food journal from 1995. God is funny like that sometimes. He just puts it right out there and all we have to do is scoop it up.

On Feb. 19, 1995 - a friend asked me to an OA meeting. That was the beginning of a wonderful journey. I followed this program for 5 years and truly had such gratifying peace of mind (and a 75 lb weight loss). The rules were hard at first, but once I realized the benefits and came to some acceptance about my food issues, the rules became very simple.

This new WAP group gives me the opportunity to re-introduce myself to this lifestyle. It is not for everybody! It is black and white abstinance from sugar and white flour - which I am sensitive to. I know when I eat these foods, it sets me up for more cravings and overeating. I must eliminate those foods in their entirety.

I copied the food plan and other generalities to folders on my computer. I will be glad to share it with anyone, just e-mail me personally. I am not in any way endorsing this plan for anyone else, I just know for me, it worked. I hope to set up a new blog site to write down my food. You see, I have to hold food to a higher standard and structure and planning are my keys!

Decision making is not my forte'.  But several "burning bushes" have happened lately, so God has to be telling me something. There are some issues I have with OA, mainly the "disease concept". I just didn't ever drink that Kool-Aid........I believe I have a sensitivity (much like an allergy) to sugar and refined carbohydrates. I don't feel obligated to attend meetings, but I do subscribe to many of their ideas. Mainly, that you have to turn it over to God - ask him to guide and protect you. We share a loving God. This group will lift each other up in prayer - intercessory prayer. What a huge blessing we will be for each other.

So, let's get on with the business of living life to the fullest!

What a Wonderful Life!

Peace!

Phat Charts

I have surfed around about information on weight loss. Now bear in mind that this is about the 100 trillion, millionth time to do this, but that is the way it goes.  I don't think it is Alli, but every time I go to Wal-Mart, the Alli rack looks like the Peanut Butter shelf the weekend before Katrina. I haven't heard much buzz about it, and no one I know has come forward with a testimonial. Could it be that they are busy washing their soiled clothes, or spending an inordinate amount of time in the john? I found this US map about obesity:

That puts us right slap dab in the middle of PHAT America.

You know, us Southerners love our Fried Chicken, Rice and Gravy, Peas and Butterbeans, Creamed Potatoes and Sweet Tea.

That is why we are PHAT!

Then I found this not so wonderful site, but I did like some of the information. For example, for your pleasure (and my therapy), I found this chart on READINESS.

All righty then, let's just go thru this one step at a time:

MOTIVATION: Well, I have the motivation. All I have to do is pass by the huge bathroom mirror, or try and zip a pair of Size 18 jeans and I could just go jump back in bed, hide under the pillow, and go back to sleep. That is what I do when I am a bit depressed: sleep and eat. Now the motivation part - instead, I shoulda, coulda jump on my treadmill and walk until my heart is content.

STRESS LEVEL - Free of major life crisis - I would like a further clarification of that. I am not getting a divorce, my spouse did not just die, there is no major illness affecting Mr. Man or myself, I did not just move......but stress, yea, boy hidey - I have some stress. What with owning my business, managing employees, single-motheredness (is that a word??). But sports fans, I did not just fall off the turnip truck - EVERYBODY HAS STRESS.

PSYCHIATRIC ISSUES - I am certainly not severely depressed - heck I have been on Anti-Depressants for 13 years - I have a build up. I could probably come off my Cymbalta cold turkey and there would be enough built up in my fat cells to last an eternity! I have a tendency to depression and I don't like it one bit. Substance abuse - FOOD. Anorexia Nervosa - NOPE, I like to keep my food down. There is no difference in my mind. THIS IS A GRAY AREA!

TIME AVAILABILITY - This is an easy one. EVERYBODY can find an extra 15-30 minutes a day. God gives us all the same amount of time, every day we have 24 hours to use. This is simple time management - AND I SUCK AT IT! Combined with a commitment of 26 weeks - That computes to 2,730 minutes or 45.5 hours, or 1.8958 days. Broken down, ONE DAY AT A TIME, this is manageable.

In Conclusion:

This is one to ponder, think thru. This last notation is the scary part. This slide did not come from a clinic that specializes in Braiatric Surgery.

I have done this before - this losing weight thing. It is possible. Is it probable??

I am a lucky chick-a-dee to have folks that love me until I can love myself. So bear with me as I blog this thing out.

LOVE AND PEACE!

It's only Stepping Stones...

Mr. Man had a ballgame tonight! I just have to brag a little and it will go down in the record books like this: 1 Double with 2 RBI's, 1 single, 1 triple hit in left field with 1 RBI (the farthest of anyone this year), 2 popouts caught in 1 inning, and several balls thrown for outs (a few errors we won't dwell on!!). He must get his athletic ability from the absent father. He loves baseball and he hustles on the field like no one else's business. I am quite proud. I love baseball, but I love to see Mr. Man play!! They won 16 to 14.

The absent father was in attendance tonight. Sam went with him for the weekend. Keith is really not absent - he is just not present most of the time. He has moved in with the 3rd girlfriend since he moved out of my humble abode on Mr. Man's 1st birthday. Why would a father leave his son on his 1st birthday?? I have often pondered that. I do not dwell on it, nor do I live in denial. The facts are that he left me, not Mr. Man. I was ready for him to leave. I hate walking on eggshells and it was a miserable existance in spite of a precious little one.

What bothers me the most is the absent father has the pre-disposition to jump from one relationwhip to another. His M.O. - search for girl, wine and dine and convince victim he is THE ONE, move in, love, laugh (I used to call it "Normalcy"), find fault, walk on eggshells, blame and find more fault, verbal abuse, then move out. Case closed. I know, been there, done that. My challenge in all this is to lead Mr. Man to realize that this is not NORMAL behavior in a relationship. I want Mr. Man to grow up to revere and appreciate women. To respect and love women. One thing about a boy is they LOVE their MAMA. Agreed??

Tonight was PNO. Sara P. asked me to meet she and Sean at Walnut Circle. She sat with me at the ballgame. I declined. My house kept me waiting. Now that the painting is done, I really wanted to get my house put back together, laundry done, refrigerator cleaned out, clothes washed, work caught up (yea right!). Came home after the ballgame and got all that done! YIPPEE! I love a productive day. I have them sometimes. When I have the energy, I have to "make hay while the sun is shining". I also decided to drink bourbon. It is good and I feel a little tipsy. Thankfully I can still type and think.

Tomorrow is Saturday without Mr. Man. I think I will sleep late and then get up and go shopping. The only thing left to do is hang some pictures - and I need help doing that. While I was cleaning out the refrigerator I set the coffee pot for 9am. It stays hot for 2 hours. I have a window of opportunity for hot coffee in the morning. Life is good! I did not make reservations for scrapbooking, wish I did now that everything is accomplished at the home! I can always find something to do that I have been putting off. I need to do income tax - now how boring is that. I'd rather shop or go to lunch and have margaritas!

I have been thinking about the 12 steps of AA (ironical with a little bourbon). I love the 12 steps. I, at one time, applied them to my eating problem. I lost 70 lbs following the 12 steps. My addiction is food, not drink. I will write more about that soon. But this is from rote memory.....

Step 1: Admitted I was powerless over food and that my life had become unmanageable.

Step 2: Came to believe that a power greater that myself could restore me to sanity.

Step 3: Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to God.

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless inventory of myself.

Step 5: Admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrong.

Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Step 7: Humbly asked God to remove my shortcomings.

Step 8: Made a list of all persons I had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when wrong promptly admitted it.

Step 11: Sought thru pray and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry that out.

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, I carried this message to other compulsive eaters, and to practice these principles in all my affairs.

I heard somewhere that the 12 steps can be used for any problem we are dealing with. I believe this. So much to deal with, so little time.........

Thank God for antidepressents! I would be wallowing in a pool of tears. I am an optimist from the get go. I look at life like it is a glass that is half full. I am a survivor, I just want a fulfilled life. I want to share life with Mr. Man - I want to guide, love, protect him and nurture him.

I was thinking that yes, I am a single mother. I do this basically alone. My question is how do you married folks or even those with signifigant others manage all that? That is a dimension that is altogether admirable. I admire those that have it all - an intact family. No brokedness (is that a word?). Who has the path of least resistenance??

Oh my goodness - I am rambling. Forgive me, but it is kinda fun!!

Please let me know if anyone reads this!! AJ and Tina - when ya gonna hop onto the band wagon??

I patiently wait!