I will bury MY St. Joseph Statue tomorrow. I ordered him on a website - "The Complete St. Joseph Kit" - I got the small one, he is 3" tall and an ivory color. You can read about it on Snopes.
I had never heard of this St. Joseph thing. Nor have most of the other folks I have talked with. My smart and funny bookkeeper, Trish, told me about this. She was reared Catholic and went to Catholic Schools. Then I asked Mr. Man and he thought he had heard something about it at school. That Catholic upbringing sometimes scares me. But Trish claims it to be true and if Trish says so, then it is the Gospel in my book.
So Trish and her beloved wanted to sell their house. She went out and bought herself one of those "Complete St. Joseph Kits". She buried her St. Joseph and three days later had a contract on her house when it was on the market briefly. Then after she packed some 95 boxes or so, her beloved decided he kinda liked their house. So, they got out of the contract rather quickly.
So, this is the deal, and I find it rather amazing and mystical. You bury this guy (statue) head down, facing the street, in his burial plastic and say a prayer over him for nine days straight.
My contractor happened to be over here when he arrived. He is doing a few updates and repairs so a buyer will just fall in love with my house. Paul is a retired Presbyterian minister. I made the mistake of asking him about this Catholic practice to aid a homeowner in selling their home. He thought it to be hogwash. What he actually said was "that is Catholic indulgence". Then went into the Reformation Movement by Martin Luther, and how he found the Catholic to be indulgent with the Vatican and stuff. And from then on he looks at me like I have lost my mind.
Well, I don't feel like I have lost my mind. I even told my friend Becky who was here also today, and whose house has been on the market for 9 months. She said "order me one of those things". So I gently told Becky that you have to believe that St. Joseph will really help you in selling your home.
I'm just trying to cover all bases, so the burial will take place this weekend. And I will go dutifully out there and repeat my scripted prayer for nine days straight. I will probably do this after dark, just so my neighbors won't think I am wacko.
Now speaking of neighbors, there is one fellow in my neighborhood that would thwart my big plans - and try and uncover my St. Joseph, or turn him in the wrong direction, or take him out of his plastic burial bag, just to get my feathers ruffled. But fear not, no one, and I mean, no one, will actually know the exact burial site. This will be a well kept secret!!
So, on with the burial plans and the packing........I will sell my house in January!! Well, maybe the middle of February, but NO later than that.
Positive, Punitive, and Positioned - yes, it will happen.
It's a Wonderful Life!
Peace!

-d
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